My favorite flavor of ice cream is a trauma response…

Let me explain….

Come with me on this journey as we unpack the realization that my favorite flavor of ice cream may not even be my favorite flavor.

First, the established trauma responses according to Health.com are - fight, flight, freeze, fawn. I’m learning the first three are my go tos, and fight seems to be my default mode. I learned early enough that there are many ways to passively “fight” for yourself. At 40+ years old and sitting on the couch, casually talking with a good friend and she asked me what my favorite flavor of ice cream is.

If you have asked me in the past 33 to 34 years what my favorite flavor of ice cream is, I’d answer without hesitation - mint chocolate chip. If we’re being honest - and that’s the current journey I’m on - chocolate is, without fail, my favorite flavor. So, why have I been in love with mint chocolate chip all these decades?

As a child, like many, money was tight - real tight - and on the occasion that we got ice cream from the grocery store we were subject to our parents’ choice for flavors. Until one day, my parents made the mistake of allowing my step-sister to pick a flavor on one trip. She picked Butter Pecan- mmmmmm. Now, she got to decide who could have some and they had to ask her for some…. I wanted this! The potential for a WHOLE 1/2 gallon (when they still actually held that amount) of chocolate ice cream for me? And I get to decide who and when anyone can have any?! Sign me up! The deal was - the flavor choice would roll through the 4 people in the family that could speak (I had a baby brother at the time). My turn came and without even thinking - CHOCOLATE!!

Maybe it’s because chocolate is a more universally liked flavor than Butter Pecan (everyone in our house loved it), or it could have been because it was mine (the healing I’m working through), but no one asked me anything. I went to get my 1st serving of ice cream and lo and behold - nearly HALF was already gone?! Sad and defeated, the next time I got to choose I just said get chocolate because everyone likes it and had zero expectations of even getting any. I’ve realized this could have possibly been so there was an appearance of being included or having a choice. It could have also been another sadistic, mental jab from an unloving step-parent, but we’ll unpack that in much smaller bits as we go. This went on this way for many cycles… and then….

A Baskin Robins commercial about their amazing 31 flavors came on tv and I was amazed at 31 flavors?! What could they all even be?! A light green concoction floats across the screen and my dad said, “ mint chocolate chip is awful,” and my step-mom agreed, “ I’d go without before eating that.”

Oh? …. yeah?!

Needless to say my next turn to choose was not accepted very well. I did get that 1st 1/2 gallon all to myself. I also lost my privileges for ever choosing a flavor again, but it was worth it!! I do LOVE mint chocolate chip. It has to be green though, white ice cream that tastes like mint just doesn’t taste the same, and I’m aware that’s just my brain and the color association…. but it matters! lol